Theology
Report: Women In Hell Still Trying To Turn Up The Thermostat

HELL—If Hell is known for one thing, it’s punishing fires of eternal damnation. It’s reportedly worse for men, though, because while they are tormented by searing heat unlike the mind can imagine, the women in Hell keep trying to turn the thermostat up.

“Ahh! It burns!” yelled Lewis Wilkins, a denizen of Hell. “Such heat I can hardly fathom. What I would give for but a single drop of cool water!”

“I’m cold,” said Elizabeth Bradley, another inhabitant of Hell. She then proceeded to turn the thermostat up.

“Aieee! I thought the torment couldn't get any worse, but now it’s somehow even hotter!” yelled Wilkins. “Why’d you do that?!”

“I’m still cold,” said Bradley.

“Then put on a sweater!”

Bradley ignored Wilkins and adjusted the thermostat again.

“Ahh! I thought it couldn’t get worse, but I was wrong!” shouted Wilkins. “Why don’t they keep that thermostat locked?”

Men have given thought to turning the thermostat down, but they’ve decided they’d rather deal with the heat than the whining.

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