I really don't like using harsh words with people. I much prefer speaking words of positivity and declaring victory over the little challenges that life throws my way.
But I have to get real for a second.
All you orphaned, sick, poor, and hungry people out there in those icky third-world nations: I really need you to just get with the program.
See, the rest of us get it. We've declared a faith victory over the sins of being poor, sick, hungry, and parent-less. We've activated our faith and spoken words of triumph over these pitfalls, and we're busy chasing all the dreams of our hearts.
You, however, obviously have not. You're dying in Africa or Asia somewhere with no access to clean water or you're getting slaughtered by the thousands for your religious faith, and I can't help but think you've entirely missed the point of the gospel. I can't help but feel you're just not willing to lay hold of God's promise to give you Your Best Life Now.
(You might not know, but that's the title of one of my best-selling books. You should read it. Oh, you can't read? Sigh. Another life hurdle you haven't unleashed God's power on with the mere sound of your voice.)
Jesus came that you might be one hundred percent healthy and wealthy, all the time. Anything less, and you're just not asking in faith for God's best for you. You're not living in God's will.
So please - orphans, invalids, the destitute - just get with the program and declare a faith victory over your problems. You're bringing the rest of us down.