Putin Withdraws From Ukraine After Celebrities Threaten To Sing 'Imagine'
Entertainment · Feb 25, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

MOSCOW - President Vladimir Putin has ordered the total withdrawal of his military from Ukrainian territory after Hollywood celebrities threatened to sing another version of John Lennon's Imagine.

"This time it will be in Russian," said comedian Will Ferrell. "And we will give no quarter!"

To show Putin they were not bluffing, a slate of medium to high-profile celebrities has already signed on to awkwardly sing the song. Many are returning from the original cringe-worthy production that was released during the early stages of the Coronavirus pandemic, but they will be joined by new annoying celebrities such as Jennifer Aniston and Neil Young.

Putin was quick to throw up his hands in disgust. "No, we will have none of that!" he said in a video message to the UN. "Have you no souls?" Putin then ordered an unconditional retreat to make sure that the celebrities' song was never unleashed upon the world.

As Ukraine sees renewed peace, the celebrities wait on the sidelines - ready to sing together if Putin goes back on his word. They now stand watch like silent guardians over Eastern Europe, waiting for a day they hope never comes.

At publishing time, the celebs had confirmed the song will not be available on Spotify unless Joe Rogan's podcast is pulled.

Babylon Bee subscriber Trevor Barrus contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

Watch as a fired Twitter employee applies for her first *actual* job:

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more guffaw-inducing chucklefests!

Comments

There are 60 comments on this article.

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.