Psaki Says High Gas Prices Are Good Because Americans Will Be Forced To Drive Greener Flintstones Cars

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Press Secretary Jen Psaki has assured Americans that higher gas prices are actually a good thing, because it means we will be forced to switch to greener modes of transportation such as foot-powered Flintstone cars.

"Look, the higher gas prices get, the sooner Americans will have to switch to cars powered by their feet," she said at a press conference today. "We have to switch from fossil fuels at some point, and what better way than by going back to the time period when fossils were created." Psaki said people commuting to work, whether they're a dino-crane operator at Slate Rock and Gravel Company or in middle management at some office job, will enjoy the exercise and fresh air offered by the innovative vehicles.

According to Psaki, it will also be great practice for Americans preparing to live in the post-apocalyptic wasteland the nation will become once China nukes us with their space nukes.

"Yabba dabba doo!" she concluded before offering every reporter gathered one of her world-famous homemade Flinstone vitamins.


Gregory Ilinovich loves murdering people with illegal guns - so he's a bit concerned about all these new gun regulations. Luckily, he tends not to follow laws anyway.

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