Lifestyle Worldviews
PROGRESS: This Straight White Male Hates Himself

When all the negative news and hierarchical societal oppression in life gets you down, it’s good to take the time to recognize some of the good that goes on as well. For every contact sport that won’t allow trans people to play in its women’s league, there’s a hetero member of the patriarchy who wants to jump off a bridge.

Keep fighting the good fight, because we’re moving toward a better world. Case in point: this person is heterosexual, Caucasian, male, cisgender, able-bodied, and wishes he had never been born.

WIN FOR WOKENESS!

We don’t blame him for despising his very existence, since he is DIRECTLY and PERSONALLY responsible for thrusting terrible violence upon every other gender (all of them), race, sexual orientation, ethnicity, and religion (did we mention he’s a Christian?? UGH!) that has ever existed since the beginning of time, even though by all accounts he’s a good guy who works hard, takes care of his family, tries his best to love his neighbor as himself, and all that other stuff that doesn’t matter because we only regard him as part of a collective group to which we assign blame.

This is progress. We can only hope for more straight white males to begin loathing the fact that they exist. Onward!

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