WASHINGTON, D.C. — White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre was thrown for a loop Wednesday when a journalist from NBC asked her an actual question. Jean-Pierre, who had a binder full of notes about various subjects, became flustered when she had to consult it. To her horror, the binder, which she'd considered as nothing more than a prop for several months, did not contain any answers.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" asked Jean-Pierre. "That sounded like a question."
The NBC news reporter graciously repeated herself. "Is President Biden planning to address the apparent dichotomy between his constant celebrations for 'fixing' inflation and the fact that new data keeps suggesting the opposite is happening and that people are slowly spiraling toward a second great depression?"
Ms. Jean-Pierre, who has now worked as the White House Press Secretary for over a year, looked dazed as if she had just been blindsided by a bus. Witnesses report she then took several minutes looking through her binder before shaking her head in dismay.
"Well..." she said uneasily. "The president says the economy is good. So it must be good."
The reporter would not back down. "But the recent numbers show — "
"We're talking about lives! Not numbers!" said Jean-Pierre, raising her voice. She then appeared to quickly inspect a seating chart to make sure the White House correspondent was sitting in the right spot.
"You are sitting in the front row," said Jean-Pierre. "I expect a little more decorum from the press."
"I'm sorry," said the NBC reporter. "I don't understand. I'm just asking a question?"
According to sources, Jean-Pierre's eyes went wild at what sounded like another question. The official White House transcription of the press briefing, however, omits the moment.
After seeing the reporter be shut down so abruptly by the press secretary, Fox News' Peter Doocy climbed out of the back row to introduce himself.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
