Powerless Figurehead Leader With No Official Responsibilities Still Alive

Politics · Sep 8, 2022 · BabylonBee.com
Image for article: Powerless Figurehead Leader With No Official Responsibilities Still Alive

WASHINGTON, DC — A powerless figurehead world leader with no actual responsibilities is still barely clinging to life, according to sources. Family is said to be gathered at the White House as the leader's condition is reportedly quickly declining.

"It's sad to see the 'Big Guy' go," said Hunter Biden to reporters while brushing some white powder off his face. "I'll surely be lost without him. Also, has anyone seen my glass tobacco pipe?"

Commentators are praising the dying figurehead as an "alive human who sat in the Oval Office to replace Trump until we could think of a better plan." Dozens of mourners from around the country are already preparing to pay tribute to the dying impotent mascot of America.

The Babylon Bee will provide further updates as the situation changes.


Liberal Brynnleigh travels back to 1933 Germany to erase a certain stain on humanity.

Loading Comments...
Shop The Bee

Fake news you can trust, delivered straight to your inbox!

Big Tech is suppressing conservative voices. Sign up for our free newsletter so you'll keep getting our content, no matter what.

We care about the protection of your data. Read our Privacy Policy.