WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a powerful statement against hatred, bigotry, and the Jews, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez showed up to vote on funding for the Iron Dome in a dress reading "Kill the Jews," sources confirmed Thursday.
Ocasio-Cortez got out of a limousine and walked down the red carpet toward the chambers of Congress as paparazzi snapped thousands of photos of her bougie, designer "Kill the Jews" dress.
"Wow, absolutely stunning," said an Access Hollywood commentator as she ran down what everyone was wearing while heading in for the vote. "Such an incredible statement! Powerful. Moving. And not the least bit ironic." She then checked her dictionary. "Yep, I'm right. Not ironic at all, technically speaking."
Many wondered how Ocasio-Cortez would vote, as the dress seemed to indicate some kind of desire to stop the Jews from defending themselves against rocket attacks. "It could go either way here, as it's not clear what she's saying there," said one CNN anchor. "It's anybody's ball game at this point."
Eventually, the representative voted "present," botching her chance to really stick it to the Jews and disappointing her friends in the squad, who have uninvited her from sitting at their table at lunch.
At publishing time, Ocasio-Cortez had begun weeping as the dress changed back into her ordinary $3,500 designer pantsuit once the clock struck midnight.
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