U.S.—The popular logical argument “It’s 2017!” has been quietly updated to “It’s 2018!” overnight, sources across the country confirmed Monday.
Millions of forward-thinking activists suddenly and covertly updated their bulletproof argument to correspond to the current year.
“While it was previously logically sound to simply proclaim ‘It’s 2017!’ anytime you were cornered in an argument, now you’ll have to proclaim ‘It’s 2018!’ if you want your argument to hold water,” one expert logician said in an interview Monday.
According to experts, updating your declaration of the current year every twelve months is highly recommended, lest you sound like a backwards bigot by proclaiming it’s the wrong year.
“You can’t possibly use the argument ‘it’s 2017!’ any longer. The moral standards of last year are so, well, last year,” the logician added.
At publishing time, sources had confirmed plans to update their logical statements to “It’s 2019!” in exactly 365 days.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.