FREMONT, CA—Confused police attempted to take Elon Musk into custody today only to discover it was only a hologram decoy and the real Musk was taking off on a spacecraft toward the Red Planet.
The police called for Musk to come in quietly as they raided his Tesla factory, which he reopened in defiance of government orders.
"Hey, it's an imposter!" shouted an arresting officer as he attempted to tackle Musk but faceplanted on the concrete instead.
"He's getting away!" cried his partner as he gestured toward a rocket in its final countdown stages. "Get him!"
"You'll always remember today as the day you almost caught the great Elon Musk!" he cried as his SpaceX rocket took off toward Mars.
"Curse you, Musk!" the officers shouted, shaking their fists at the heavens.
In a transmission from space, Musk stated he will be moving all Tesla manufacturing to Mars effective immediately to escape California taxes and shutdowns and the constraints of archaic humanity.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.