NEW YORK, NY - Abortion giant Planned Parenthood was sentenced Thursday to 8 million life sentences, to be served consecutively, after being found guilty of as many first degree murders since its heinous criminal spree began some 45 years ago.

"We've never seen a crime syndicate this prolific," the presiding judge after delivering the sentence. "At the time of Planned Parenthood's apprehension, they were carrying out nearly a thousand murders per day."

He went on to describe the corrupt organization's dealings in government bribery, racketeering, and money laundering, among dozens of other crimes on top of its murder-for-hire scheme, further stating that Planned Parenthood is "very lucky" that the state of New York abolished the death penalty in 2007.

"It's just a shame, a crying shame they got away with this for so long," he added. "May God have mercy on their soul."