NEW YORK, NY—At a special ceremony Thursday, Planned Parenthood posthumously awarded Herod the Great with its highest honor, the organization's coveted PPFA Margaret Sanger Award.
Planned Parenthood gives the award out to individuals who advance the pro-abortion agenda, and baby-murdering King Herod was the obvious choice.
"Herod fought bravely for women's rights by slaughtering all the male babies under two years old," said a Planned Parenthood spokesperson. "He was thousands of years ahead of his time, realizing the progressive value of destroying our kids the moment they become inconvenient millennia before it was popular. Yes, we do wish he had slaughtered the daughters too, but we're willing to overlook that as this brave women's rights warrior advanced the pro-abortion agenda significantly."
King Herod was not available to accept the award, as he is dead. But his ideological successor, Alyssa Milano, accepted it in his honor. "If Herod were here, I know exactly what he would say," Milano said in her acceptance speech. "He would remind us all that it was his kingdom, his choice."
The organization drew criticism for the selection, as other leftists pointed out that he did not have a uterus and as such should not have had an opinion on post-birth abortion.