SALEM, OR—Oregon governor Kate Brown announced on Monday that her state would be the first to implement common core meth now that all drugs are legal. "The old meth held us back. The new common core meth will get us up to speed and make us more competitive," Brown told reporters.
Many meth-heads took to Twitter and Facebook to complain about the new common core meth standards. "This is just making my meth consumption more complicated! Down with common core!" one meth head wrote.
But Brown has no intention of dialing back. "Common Core may be a big change in the meth industry, but we are confident that with it, meth heads will not just smoke meth, they will understand it on an abstract and quantitative level."