WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a genius move, Trump has stopped Kamala Harris from becoming the first female president by identifying as a female himself.
"I am now a WOMAN," Trump announced to reporters in the White House press room. "My name is now Donna Trump and I am the first female president. I'm a very pretty lady-president. I win!"
Liberals are outraged that Donna Trump has outsmarted them by stealing this historic moment away from Kamala Harris. They responded by shouting and snarling and throwing their notebooks, enraged that Trump had owned them one last time.
"I -- I just can't," said Rachel Maddow on her show that evening. "It doesn't matter how ravishingly beautiful the new Donna Trump is. I know she's attractive. But I feel like Trump is just messing with us at this point. Plus, I'm now confused about throwing America's first transgender president out of office!"
Feminists are also furious since they can no longer criticize Donna Trump for being loud, abrasive, bossy, and brash.
Unfortunately, liberals got the last laugh since, after Trump's announcement, his pay was immediately cut 30 percent.