Politics
New York Times Accidentally Publishes Ghislaine Maxwell Obituary Ahead Of Schedule

NEW YORK, NY—Oops! The New York Times accidentally included Ghislaine Maxwell in its daily list of New Yorkers killed by COVID-19, publishing the socialite's name on its website Tuesday morning.

The glowing obituary called Maxwell a "generous, loving, austere childcare provider" who "will be missed by many of us elites." The piece said she was a "shrewd businesswoman" who had a knack for customer service. According to the paper, she died of the all-too-common cause of backing into a bunch of bullets by mistake.

The paper pulled her name from the website after Hillary Clinton's staffers called and informed them of the error.

"Ms. Clinton asked us to publish the obituary on Friday and we got our dates mixed up," said a Times spokesperson. "We apologize for the mistake, and we hope she is still OK. For now."

President Trump was concerned when he saw the death notice and so was happy to learn she was still alive, saying he "wishes her well."

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