SAN BERNARDINO, CA — The world's dumbest man, Jeremy Dander, pulled up to a McDonald's outside of lunch hours, noticed only two cars in the drive-thru, and made the mistake of assuming the experience wouldn't take long.
"Only two cars in line at McDonald's?" the man said to himself for some reason. "This won't take long! Yee-haw! Here we go, Big Macs!"
Per witnesses at the scene, the total idiot approached the speaker immediately but was told to wait before placing his order.
"Hello, welcome to McDonald's, please wait a moment," said a voice from the speaker. "We havavdsfdfkwm..."
"Uh, okay!" Dander said, not sure if he heard them right. After waiting 10 minutes, he said: "Hello, is anyone there?" only to be told: "SIR! I said please wait a moment!"
Later, when he finally ordered two Big Macs, a Happy Meal, and a vanilla ice cream cone he was informed the ice cream machine was down. An ill omen.
Twenty minutes later, he moved one car length forward. It was at this point he considered backing out of his horrible plan but became trapped by the world's second dumbest man who must have thought the short line wouldn't take so long.
By the time he reached the front window, Jeremy Danders had grown wiser with age. His child, who had been playing with toys in the backseat, had now grown into a self-entitled teenager who no longer had need of a Happy Meal toy.
At publishing time, Jeremy Dathers had been asked to pull around the corner and wait for his food to be brought out to him because the fast food establishment had not yet started preparing his order.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
