LOS ANGELES, CA — The most powerful man in America was forced to deal with an unexpected emergency last night, with former President Barack Obama suffering a moment of panic due to his Biden remote control suddenly losing connection.
The incident occurred during a ritzy fundraiser where Obama was once again using his state-of-the-art remote control to guide President Joe Biden through a pre-programmed routine as he rubbed elbows with Hollywood celebrities to raise cash for his re-election campaign.
"Oh… oh no… not again," Obama was heard muttering on stage as Biden appeared to experience yet another of his frequent glitches and freeze, leaving Obama at a loss as to what to do. "Why can't they get this thing fixed?! C'mon, man! He's frozen out there like a mannequin again. Those maintenance techs are going to get a piece of my mind!"
Witnesses reported seeing Obama frantically and repeatedly smacking the remote control with his hand. "He was obviously frustrated, as if this is something that happens a lot," one person present at the fundraiser said. "Biden was stopped in his tracks and showed no signs of coming back to life, and Obama was just out there desperately trying to get his control to work properly."
"I pushed every button multiple times!" Obama reportedly said to Biden's handlers. "I tried to do a hard restart, and it still didn't work. We've got to get this figured out before November, folks."
At publishing time, the team of technicians who had been in charge of ensuring the usability of Obama's Biden remote was reportedly being taken for an impromptu paddleboarding excursion at Obama's Martha's Vineyard estate.
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