NEW YORK CITY, NY — According to sources, students at James Madison High School are finding it difficult to concentrate on their studies due to the abundance of mariachi music playing at all hours of the day.
"I feel like I'm in a Mexican restaurant," said Brian Clemens, a senior. "Man, I could really use some chips and salsa."
Reports suggest the mariachi music began following an emergency order by Mayor Eric Adams to relocate migrants from nearby Floyd Bennet Field. Now grades are suffering in all classes, particularly music theory.
"Every mariachi song is the same. My students can't focus!" said music teacher Trisha Finley.
Parents have voiced concerns that New York is prioritizing illegal immigrants over their children's education. Mayor Eric Adams has responded to these concerns by calling all the parents racist.
Authorities have issued warnings to migrants for excessive mariachi music to no avail. "It's like they don't even care about our laws," said NYPD Officer David Browning. "Why don't they care about our noise ordinance laws? I don't get it!"
At publishing time, school faculty continued to accommodate migrants by offering beans, tamales, and fentanyl in the school cafeteria.
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