WASHINGTON, D.C. — An emotional Representative Rashida Tlaib publicly grieved the death of Hezbollah's leader Hassan Nasrallah, demanding to know who she was supposed to send her daily Wordle score to now that the terrorist was gone.
"Who's going to send me little clapping emojis when I get Wordle in two tries? Who?!?" cried Tlaib, breaking into tears. "I've got no one left! No one!!"
According to Tlaib, she and Nasrallah have exchanged Wordle scores for almost two straight years, never missing a day. "Even when it stopped being cool, Hassan never stopped," sniffled Tlaib. "There are just so few things you can count on in this world. Even when he was busy planning mass murder, or torturing a hostage, he always took the time for Wordle. He was so funny, he always started with the word 'DEATH' because he said he was thinking about infidels. Gosh, I'm going to miss him."
At publishing time, Tlaib had announced her plan to honor Nasrallah with a 21 pager salute.
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