SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom proudly announced over the weekend that the population of California was on the rise, as long as you don't count all the people who left.
According to calculations from the governor's office, 10 million people have fled California during Newsom's tenure. However, if you don't count those 10 million people leaving, the state is actually growing.
"It's a true reflection of the incredible job I have done here," said Newsom. "Above all, people vote with their feet. But the people who used their feet to leave California can't vote here, so they don't count. Once you don't count them, California is booming. And it's all thanks to me."
Migration experts have concurred that if you don't subtract the people leaving a place, then the estimated population will be higher. "The science is clear. Numbers are higher when you don't do subtraction," said mathematician Dr. Larry Somerset. "Newsom is absolutely correct here. Once you remove a big number that is being subtracted from an equation, the result is more positive. Any disagreement is just Republicans coping."
At publishing time, Newsom had announced that California had also achieved a $100 billion surplus, if you didn't count any of the money that the government spent.
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