World Cup Stadium Empty As European Tourists All Just Hanging Out At Buc-ee's

Sports · Jun 11, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
Joseph Hendrickson / Shutterstock
Image for article: World Cup Stadium Empty As European Tourists All Just Hanging Out At Buc-ee's

U.S. — As the first World Cup matches were set to get underway this week, the stadiums were completely devoid of fans as all the people who traveled to America for the tournament were hanging out at Buc-ee's.

Word of the paradise known as Buc-ee's spread like wildfire across European social media as tourists from Germany to Sweden marveled at the glorious beaver-branded utopia. With brisket on the board and fresh beaver nuggets aplenty, the World Cup tourists decided to forego the soccer matches and stay at Buc-ee's.

"There will always be another soccer game. This is my only shot at Buc-ee's," said Freddy, a diehard German soccer fan. "I am literally eating a brisket sandwich, sitting in a giant beaver inner tube, with my beaver chips sitting atop a bag of deer corn. You just can't get this in Germany."

Tourists from across the globe had reportedly packed out several Buc-ee's locations as the phenomenon continued to spread. "Oh la la! Buc-ee himself!" cried French woman Juliette D'arcon, as the lovable beaver waved from across the store. "Je t'aime, Buc-ee! This is, how do you say in English, heaven?"

At publishing time, several World Cup matches had been canceled as officials could not get the players to leave Buc-ee's.


After a slight mixup, Steve, Timpani, and Britunni end up at the Alamo instead of the Alamo Car Rental. Protestors block their way out and Timpani is going into labor!