FORT LAUDERDALE, FL — In a touching tribute to one of America's most formative chapters in air travel, dozens of emotional passengers gathered at the gate to board the final scheduled flight of Spirit Airlines, preparing themselves for one last, glorious, no-holds-barred midair brawl.
Witnesses described a reverent atmosphere at the terminal, as longtime customers embraced, wiped away tears, and quietly slipped brass knuckles on before boarding began.
"We wanted to honor the legacy," said gate agent Melissa Rios, who was seen handing out commemorative mouthguards at the check-in counter. "One last time, we all want to feel that electric tension — the kind that says, ‘At any moment, the violent melee could begin. Rest in power, Spirit Airlines."
Airline staff reportedly worked hard to preserve the authentic Spirit experience for the final voyage, including overbooking the flight by 60% and charging an additional $45 "pre-fight positioning fee" for passengers hoping to start conflicts near the aisle. Flight attendants, many of whom appeared visibly moved, have vowed to help instigate several conflicts and then not intervene during the altercations, no matter how bloody they may become.
As the final passengers boarded, a spontaneous chant broke out at the gate: "ONE! LAST! FIGHT! ONE! LAST! FIGHT!"
At publishing time, the flight had been delayed an hour after a pre-flight skirmish put seven people in the hospital.
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