NEW YORK, NY - The New York Times has issued a heartfelt apology after the international edition of the newspaper published a cartoon that offended many "Passover worshipers."
"We are so sorry for any offense this cartoon cause to Passover worshipers," the paper wrote in its third attempted apology. "The tiny hat guys are upset, and we get it. The cartoon contained a lot of racist stereotypes and propaganda-like caricatures of the dreidel people. We should have had a more careful review process, so we wouldn't cause offense to the fiddlers on the roof."
"It was a small editorial oversight. We will strive not to offend Passover worshipers going forward," the apology concluded.
The paper also committed to hiring consultants from among the "tiny hat guys" who could tell them if they were publishing a cartoon that looks like it could have been published in Germany in the 1930s. "The people with the funny 8-candle thing will help us to better understand anti-semitism and what, if any, bad effects it's had in the past.
The very next day, over 27 racist cartoons were published, forcing dozens more pseudo-apologies, apology retractions, and subsequent more sincere apologies to offended Passover worshipers.