New Waste-Free Grocery Store Just Field Where People Can Come And Graze
Health · Jul 2, 2019 · BabylonBee.com

AGOURA HILLS, CA - A new waste-free grocery store has opened up in Agoura Hills. Greenway Grocers takes the concept of ditching plastic bags, straws, containers, and every other kind of waste, bringing customers back to the simple, organic, all-natural basics: eating grass in a field. 

"We had this meeting when we were starting the store. Plastic bags are a definite no. Shopping carts, don't like it. Containers of any kind, hate them. Meat is mean. Absolutely no processed foods," said founder Devon Markesh. "One day I was at a juice bar and saw people literally paying money to drink grass. Total epiphany moment."

Greenway Grocers has been a big hit with the wealthy residents of Agoura Hills. "It's just so nice, like, not getting any of those additives, knowing that you're not harming the Earth, like, at all," said local resident Sally Crutchfield with green stains about her mouth and hands.

Greenway Grocers plans to begin opening locations all over the Pacific coast, opening in high-income neighborhoods. "We're a high-end store," Markesh told reporters. "Our shoppers care about the Earth and their bodies. They're willing to pay the extra cost to make that a reality."

The stores will feature a deli, produce, butcher shop, artisan olive bar, bakery... all converted to patches of grass. "We will even have organic, all-natural restrooms," Markesh added.

Greenway Grocers opened in early April with new locations coming to Beverly Hills, Berkley, and Hollywood soon.

 


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