U.S.—Pfizer is introducing a new Loyalty Club program, sources confirmed Wednesday, through which you can get a free sub sandwich with every 10th booster. You can sign up for the loyalty program right at your local permanent vaccination center or on Pfizer's website. "Take ten boosters and get a free sub sandwich!" said Pfizer spokesperson Grubb McPherson. "Whether you like meatball subs or Italian BMTs, you can get yourself injected with our miracle vaccine just ten times and enjoy your favorite delicious sandwich at participating sub shops of your choice." While the sub sandwich deal is great, Pfizer was quick to remind customers that the vaccine still doesn't actually stop you from getting COVID no matter how many boosters you get. "Yeah, the sub sandwich is actually the only benefit, if we're being honest here."
Gregory Ilinovich loves murdering people with illegal guns - so he's a bit concerned about all these new gun regulations. Luckily, he tends not to follow laws anyway.