ISRAEL — Newly uncovered evidence shows that the walls of Jericho crumbled to the ground right after Joshua finished playing an absolutely boss saxophone solo.
"We now believe that shortly after the trumpets blasted, Joshua broke out the tenor sax," said researcher Dr. Stan McGovern. "The contemporaneous documents we have universally describe the solo Joshua unleashed being 'totally sick'."
Scholars report that after six straight days of priests blowing trumpets outside Jericho, the city was completely caught off guard by Joshua's rich, velvety sax. "No one, I mean no one, expected Joshua to pull a tenor sax out of his cloak," said Old Testament historian Alan Reese. "We believe the solo lasted at least five minutes, and made Kenny G look like a talentless rube. The shouts of the Israelite army recorded in Scripture were likely people cheering for an encore."
Before the saxophone eruption, researchers now believe Joshua's assistant Caleb played the 'bone while Eleazar took the bass line for a walk. "They got funky," said Dr. McGovern. "Hittin' those off-beats, bee-bopping. But Joshua - he brought the house down, if you know what I mean! Hey-O!"
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
