Home > Christian Living > New App Lets Your Spouse Control The Car With Voice Commands
Christian Living Family
New App Lets Your Spouse Control The Car With Voice Commands

U.S.—A new app lets your spouse control the car with voice commands from the passenger seat.

Whenever your spouse says things like, "Why don't you take Fifth, it's a lot faster?" or "This way's a lot slower than my way," the car will instantly respond to their commands.

"There was a ton of demand for this app," said Backseat Driver CEO Matthew Kyle. "Spouses everywhere love making passive-aggressive suggestions the entire time their husband or wife is driving around town. But despite their constant comments on your driving, the car doesn't respond to their helpful suggestions and advice. Well, no longer. Now their comments are just as effective as if they themselves were in the driver seat."

Specific voice commands programmed into the app include the following:

  • "You're driving too fast" - immediately makes the car slow to a crawl
  • "You're driving too slow" - causes the car to go as fast as physically possible
  • "Take this other street, it's a shortcut only I know about" - makes the car take their strange route that's almost definitely not any faster
  • "Everyone knows parking's a lot better around back" - makes the car skip all the perfectly good parking and drive around to their secret parking
  • "MERGE, HONEY! MERGE!" - merges even if that means you slam into a semi truck

In early beta testing, the app received rave reviews from spouses in the passenger seat and horrid reviews from spouses in the driver seat.

Readers of the Bee,

If you value The Babylon Bee and want to see us prevail against Snopes and anyone else who might seek to discredit or deplatform us, please consider becoming a subscriber. Your support really will make a difference.