LOS GATOS, CA - Instead of laughter, many of the new comedy specials on Netflix have been met with anger and condemnation from progressives. In a canny marketing move, Netflix has now moved those stand-up comedy specials into the horror category. "We were watching the reaction to the humor of people like Dave Chappelle and Bill Burr, and it just made sense," explained Netflix founder and CEO Bob Netflix. "This now allows the left to enjoy the regressive humor... but in a different way."

The move so far has been met with success. "I'm literally shaking!" said Angie Arnold, a feminist, after watching Dave Chappelle's Sticks and Stones. "This got me way more worked up than Bird Box." During her viewing, she was even shouting at the screen. "No! Don't do it! Don't go there! Don't make a joke about trans issues!"

"Oh no! He's going to punch down! I can't watch!" said Elijah Adams, a writer for online publications, as he peeked through his fingers while viewing Bill Burr's Paper Tiger just before screaming in horror at a punchline.

There was some laughter during the specials, but only a sort of relieved laughter from a false scare. "Oh boy, I thought Chappelle was about to joke about the #MeToo movement," Arnold said, as she chuckled nervously, "but he backed off. That was so scary, but-- OH NO!"