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Nation's Libertarians To Scream At Sky The Moment Government Reopens

WASHINGTON, D.C.—After the news broke earlier today that President Trump has agreed to end the government shutdown, the nation's libertarians gathered somberly outside the Capitol Building today to scream at the sky the moment the government reopens.

"As soon as the bill to fully restore our bloated federal government is passed into law, we will scream at the sky uncontrollably," said Henry Renaldo, a libertarian activist from New Hampshire as he held back tears. "I had hoped this was Trump's 4D chess masterstroke to keep the government shut down forever, but it seems he's a deep state operative just like the rest of them."

"Oh, Ron, what do we do now?" he whispered to no one in particular.

At publishing time, sources had confirmed the method was just as effective as libertarians' usual political strategies.

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