CHICAGO, IL — Elon Musk has decided to put the near-invincible armor of the Cybertruck to the ultimate test by attempting a drive directly through downtown Chicago.
With the Cybertruck having withstood flamethrowers, arrows, and gunfire in a controlled environment, Elon Musk will personally steer the vehicle through a crucible no machine or man has survived in decades. Though Musk will not exit the Cybertruck, he has vowed to obey all traffic laws, promising to wait until the light turns green no matter how much machine gun fire he is taking.
"Whether you find yourself in a post-apocalyptic zombie wasteland or in Chicago, the Cybertruck is ready," said Elon Musk as he made the announcement. "The armored exoskeleton is ready to face the ultimate in man-made weaponry. Let's go, Chicago!"
"Noo!! Don't do it!!" cried Elon's mother, Maye Musk, after hearing the announcement. "You have so much to live for! Think of your mother, and your 43 children!!"
Musk reportedly assured his mother that the most entertaining outcome was the most likely, which did not comfort her whatsoever.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.