U.S. — Fresh off a wave of overwhelming victories in Tuesday's midterm elections, Democrats were reportedly not sure what they were supposed to do now with all the fake ballots they had stored up.
According to sources, the party had gone through its standard election preparation procedure, including the manufacturing of millions of falsified ballots for use in swinging the vote in favor of its candidates, but later discovered that the ballots would not be needed.
"Didn't really need to use any of them," said one Democratic Party operative. "We were ready, like usual. Had pallets and pallets of these babies ready and waiting, stashed in secret warehouses across the country. Some of the trucks were even loaded up and ready to hit the road to drop them off at polling locations to be counted. Surprisingly, we didn't need them. People actually voted for us for once, believe it or not."
The leading manufacturer of the fake ballots, Fred Brimp, confirmed that he and his staff had toiled for months for no reason. "It's a shame," he said. "These were our best batch of fake ballots yet, and we were proud. Unfortunately, the Republicans had made such a mess of their time in power that tons of people actually voted for Democrats this time. Who would've thought something crazy like that would happen, right?"
At publishing time, highly placed Democratic Party insiders confirmed that the fake ballots would be placed in storage to be used the next time Republicans showed signs of winning an election.
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