U.S.—An echo was heard across the land this morning from sea to shining sea as progressives woke up after celebrating Impeachment Day and learned that Trump is still the president.
High off their impeachment victory, liberals went to bed safe and secure in the knowledge that Trump was defeated, his evil vanquished from the land at last. But when they woke up, they realized that Trump was still the president of the country.
"I thought impeachment would instantly erase Trump from existence," said Pane Wyndough, a Portland antifa organizer. "Apparently, that's not how it works. Not only were the Founding Fathers racists, but they also planned the impeachment process specifically so that Trump would stay in office. They are complicit in his hate."
"It was as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror," said Bill Pachinski, a farmer in Iowa. "I woke up to get started on a day's work. The rooster crowed. And then I heard a horrifying screeching sound creeping over the land, growing in volume. It started on the East Coast and slowly spread toward the West, with the loudest cries coming from New York and California."
The voices were suddenly silenced as Trump blew them all up with the Space Force's Death Star. While this does seem to be an impeachable offense, there's no one left to impeach him -- a true 4D chess masterstroke.
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