CALABASAS, CA — A local wife began training to join her regional women's hockey team when she discovered the grand prize for winners of the National Hockey League is a Stanley Cup.
"OMG, like, I didn't know what this hockey thing was and then I heard my husband mention they're giving away these giant Stanley cups to people who win the national championship and I was like, OMG yes I love giveaways, how do I sign up?" Katelyn Bradshaw told reporters.
Bradshaw began training at a local facility as soon as she heard the news. Her coach said her drive and determination have been amazing to watch.
"I've never seen a young lady take to the ice as fast as Katelyn has," Coach Bernie Swenson said. "She must really think she's got a shot at the Stanley Cup. I don't have the heart to tell her it's a men's division trophy…"
When asked for comment on the situation, the National Hockey League issued a statement regarding the news that a female was gunning for their biggest award.
"The NHL is always thrilled to learn about new demographics of people taking an interest in our sport. We're not sure how Ms. Bradshaw plans to fit the Stanley Cup in the cupholder of her 2018 Toyota RAV as she's expressed interest in doing, but we're excited to see her progress on the ice."
At publishing time, Bradshaw had quit the league after discovering Stanley cups were 25% off at T.J. Maxx.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.