HOUSTON, TX—According to sources close to local millennial Kyle Woodson, the young man took several hours out of his busy schedule Tuesday to honor the sacrifice of soldiers fighting on D-Day by conducting a dangerous mission with his aging copy of Call of Duty 2 on his gaming computer.
Woodson reportedly dusted off his Call of Duty 2 DVD, reinstalled the game, fiddled with his installation to get it to run on Windows 10, and then settled in for several hours of honoring the greatest generation’s sacrifice.
“As I sit here in my room gaming on this state-of-the-art computer, I feel a real kinship with that brave band of brothers who stormed those beaches on that fateful day,” Woodson told reporters as he waited for the game’s second level to load, just after he took out a German artillery installation in the game’s intense Point du Hoc mission. “Whenever one of my virtual squadmates bites the dust, I feel the same pain and sense of loss that the soldiers so many decades ago did.”
Woodson solemnly played through several missions, pausing to reflect on the gravity of D-Day as he progressed through the French countryside alongside his AI teammates.
“It’s literally the least I can do on this, the anniversary of D-Day,” he added as he cracked a Mountain Dew.