U.S. - In a new episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Mickey described a transgender surgery scalpel as "a surprise tool that will help us later." Children ages 2-5, the show's target audience, were reportedly confused by the development as the episode had been about finding a lost balloon for Pete, longtime antagonist to Mickey Mouse.
After Pete lost his balloon he became angry and bullied Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Daisy, and Minnie Mouse. The gang attempted to cheer him up and help him find his balloon using tools provided by Toodles, a sentient supercomputer. The tools were a ladder, a fan, and a "mystery mousketool" which later turned out to be the aforementioned scalpel.
"Halfway through the episode Mickey gives up on the balloon and explains to Pete that he's only upset because he's uncomfortable with his body," said Mary Anders, a concerned parent. "Then Pete claimed to actually be a beautiful lizard woman stuck in the body of a fat cat and that's why he's angry all the time. I don't know. It was weird."
"Rest assured, I will eventually cancel Disney Plus after I finish watching Moon Knight!"
A survey of toddlers revealed they were mostly horrified by the episode's conclusion in which Pete went under the knife to become a beautiful female lizard named Patricia. A small die-hard group of twenty-somethings, however, found the episode to be life-changing.
"I finally feel seen," said a tearful Spethy Quilvers, a self-described genderfluid orangutan carpenter.
Oscar Gram, a twenty-two-year-old Gender Studies student was supportive of the creative team that put the episode together. "I'm not LGBTQ but I am an ally," said the cisgendered white male. "I don't understand why Pete would want to be a woman - or a lizard for that matter - honestly, I didn't know he was a cat until someone told me."
"But who am I to judge a cartoon character?"
Disney has responded to backlash for the episode by reminding everyone how virtuous they were for banning Song of the South, a film for which the first Academy Award was awarded to a black actor.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
