QUEENS, NY — After Sunday evening's blowout loss to the Padres, Mets manager Buck Showalter held a press conference in which he complained that their team faces "an unfair disadvantage by virtue of the fact that our organization is much, much worse than all the other teams."
In a fiery rant to the reporters gathered, Showalter accused all the other baseball teams of having an unfair advantage by "playing decent baseball and not immediately falling flat on their faces in the playoffs."
"It's unfair to expect us to beat other teams when our ball club falls apart every October," Showalter told reporters. "If we managed to score more runs, had better pitching, and were able to maintain any kind of momentum in the postseason whatsoever, we would fare much better than we typically do when the playoffs come around."
Showalter even alleged that the Padres "cheated" in their 6-0 victory by "playing much better baseball and generally not being a joke of a baseball team that can't knock in a run if their lives depended on it."
According to sources, the Mets are planning on a "rebuilding decade" after this season and hope to make another playoff appearance in 2030, with the lofty goal of "maybe even making it past the first round this time."
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
