Health
Mental Health Experts Suggest Logging Off Social Media, Then Backing Over All Your Electronic Devices With A Van

U.S.—In a new report issued Wednesday, health experts are now recommending regularly logging off your social media accounts, and then backing over your electronic devices with a van or other large vehicle.

“We’ve found that mental wellness is greatly increased when people take a few minutes each day to log off of Facebook and Twitter, take a stroll out to the driveway, and just crush all of their electronic devices forever,” one study intern told reporters. “Then stare pensively at the beautiful weather and enjoy your newfound freedom from the toxicity that permeates the internet.”

The study showed that people who log off of Twitter to escape the latest political or social drama and then permanently destroy their smartphones are “far more likely” to lead positive, fulfilling lives than those who stay logged into the service. Likewise, the research showed that avoiding a drawn-out Facebook debate is best done by logging out, taking a few deep breaths, and then crushing your laptop with an industrial vehicle.

“It’s science,” they concluded.