U.S. — The media has announced that the motives remain unclear of an assassin who wrote a manifesto called "Here Are My Motives."
After poring over a lengthy, detailed explanation by the killer of why he carried out his attack, the media stated the motives remain shrouded in mystery.
"It appears we will never know why the assassin did this," said news anchor Tina Rothman, after reading off the killer's explanation of why he did this. "After conducting a thorough investigation of the phrases that explain why he chose his targets and the ideology that motivated him, his motives remain totally uknown. We only wish something, some sort of explanation, could have shed light on this."
According to sources, assassins have become progressively more frustrated by the inability of the media to understand their motives. "I spent so much time writing in explicit detail why I was murdering people," said a forlorn murderer. "I even labeled it 'Here Are My Motives' and I annotated it for easy reading. What do they want from me?"
At publishing time, the media had said that unfortunately we would never know what ideology was promoting such violence so there was simply nothing to be done.
