U.S. - Our nation's intrepid journalists had been warning the country about the threat of the Joker movie and how it could encourage violence among disaffected white people and incels -- the new greatest threat to mankind. And as reporters prepared for an onslaught of violence as Joker premiered over the weekend, they were horrified by what happened: absolutely no violence or anything worth reporting on whatsoever.
"We found one incident of a guy cheering too loudly at the fictional violence," said CNN reporter Terrance Shelton, "but that was it. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing we can glom onto and spin into a hot take that reinforces The Narrative. I'm shaken to my core."
Journalists have already been shaken by many attacks on the press. Much of this has come from President Trump, but a lot also from reality, which has specifically gone after many of their hyped predictions and disasters. "We had expert opinions saying that the Joker movie was just adding fuel to the fire with all that's going on," said New York Times writer Glenn Peterson. "And once again, reality has defied experts. That's not right."
Now that opinion writers' fears have been disproven, the pundits whose predictions were completely wrong and who have demonstrated they have no grasp of how reality actually works are expecting the harshest punishment for such a journalistic failure: absolutely nothing.