Mark Hamill Laments That Luke Skywalker Was Adopted By His Aunt And Uncle Instead Of Aborted
Entertainment · Jul 5, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

MALIBU, CA — After Roe v. Wade was overturned, actor Mark Hamill took to Twitter to angrily condemn the decision — as well as people who adopt children like the Star Wars characters Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru.

"People who adopt other people's babies are creepy, terrible people," said Hamill to reporters. "Luke Skywalker should've been aborted by Padme, but instead he was adopted by a gross, uneducated white couple from some flyover planet far away from the bright center of the universe. Disgusting! They're probably Evangelical Christians."

Hamill went on to say that if he could remake the Star Wars series, Padme would've sought out a galactic Planned Parenthood and aborted both Luke and Leia. "Star Wars could have been a triumphant story of bodily autonomy," he said, "but instead it was just another tale of courage, heroism, and redemption. Lame!"

Hamill went on to criticize the adoptive parents of Leia — Bail and Breha Organa — for not tossing the future Princess Leia in a nearby lake when they had the chance.


Michael Simmons' doctor tells him he's obese and needs to lose some weight - but the patient has the perfect comeback: he's pregnant!

Subscribe to The Babylon Bee on YouTube

Comments

There are 139 comments on this article.

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.