HEAVEN — According to sources within the heavenly realm, the promised reward of a mansion for all believers will be augmented for VBS volunteers with the gift of a brand new, perfect Tesla upon arrival.

"We noticed that the selfless service of some believers — that puts other believers to shame — has been overlooked for far too long," said the Angel Gabriel. "When VBS volunteers finally turn in their badges and sing their final ‘Father Abraham' on earth, they arrive at the pearly gates completely worn out. We used to have the seminary professors carry our VBS warriors to their mansions, but when Elon Musk offered to provide Teslas for those who give their all on earth, we couldn't pass that up. Just look at these babies!"

In addition to a brand-new Tesla, VBS volunteers will be given an upgraded heavenly spa pass that never expires, a Chick-Fil-A gift card that never runs out, and a fruit basket.

"We welcome these suffering servants into the gates of eternal paradise," said Gabriel. "Well done, VBS volunteers!"

At publishing time, Heaven also confirmed that parents who drop off their kids at VBS so they can have some time to themselves will receive a 10% off coupon to Sizzler.

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.