HUNTSVILLE, AL — Local man Brad Sharp had his faith in God shaken to its core after his prayer for a real, functioning lightsaber went unanswered.
"How could a good, loving, all-powerful God not give me a lightsaber?" sighed Sharp, staring at the sky. "Where are you, God? Are you even listening?"
According to sources, Sharp prayed for God to grant him a lightsaber not once, but three times. Yet, Sharp was met with nothing but silence from the Lord, prompting something of an existential crisis.
"It's tough to reconcile belief in an omnipotent, beneficent God with not getting a lightsaber," said Sharp's friend Kevin Darneau. "Especially if you specifically asked for one. He's taking it pretty hard, and it's causing him to question a lot of his beliefs. He really wanted that lightsaber."
At publishing time, Sharp's faith in God had again been tested as he failed to bench press five hundred pounds despite wearing a Philippians 4:13 bracelet.
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