Rancho Cucamonga, CA — A man who admitted being very concerned about the effect increased tariffs will have on the prices of everyday consumer goods said he was glad that he had just bought new underwear and wouldn't need to worry about that for another 15 years.
Ara Adamian explained that he had watched President Donald Trump's announcement of "Liberation Day," in which he enacted reciprocal tariffs on many other countries, with a sense of dread, knowing the effect it would have on consumer prices and stock markets. He took the bad news sitting down, but at least he was sitting comfortably because he was wearing his new Hanes Comfort Flex boxer briefs that he had acquired recently from Walmart — at pre-tariff prices.
"Stuff from China is going to cost 34% more," Adamian said. "This is terrible for people who are already living paycheck to paycheck. Fortunately, these moisture-wicking, tagless boxer briefs made with handspun cotton from Vietnam will last me for the next 15 years. Maybe more, if I'm careful."
Adamian patted himself on the back for narrowly avoiding paying 46% more in tariffs for imported goods from Vietnam with his timely purchase of the boxer briefs just last week.
At publishing time, Adamian was planning another trip to Walmart to get two more 3-packs of size 34 Hanes Comfort Flex boxer briefs before the prices go up, thereby ensuring he won't have to worry about tariffs on his underwear for the next half-century.
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