WICHITA FALLS, TX — Local man Harley Richards has become befuddled as people keep repeatedly stealing his flag that says, "Come and take it".
"Now why in tarnation would they do a thing like that?" asked Mr. Richards, tying on another flag to his flagpole. "Makes me madder than a one-armed coat hanger."
Mr. Richards had initially put up the flag in response to gubernatorial candidate Robert Francis O'Rourke's vow to come and take Texans' guns away. "Just try it, you skinny little skateboarding weirdo! That's the message I was going for," said Mr. Richards. "Every other week though, I come out and the flag is gone. I'm going to have start buying them in bulk!"
The famous saying "Come and take it" was originally coined by King Leonidas, who dared King Xerxes of Persia to attack his well-fortified position near Thermopylae. Historians believe King Xerxes replied "Okay" before demolishing the Spartan army and killing Leonidas. Despite the motto's poor start, Texans adopted the saying when General Santa Anna of Mexico demanded the citizens of Gonzales give up their town's lone cannon. While Santa Anna did respond by coming and taking the Alamo, Texans would go on to remember that, which ultimately lead to Santa Anna's downfall.
At publishing time, a drunk Robert Francis O'Rourke was seen skateboarding away from Mr. Richards' house with a flag waving behind him.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
