Man Who Used To Party All Night Now Carries Three Types Of Pepto Bismol At All Times
Health · Mar 25, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

SPRINGFIELD, MA - As a young man, Jim Ruth says he could party all night and eat anything he wanted without consequence. But since turning 35 last year, Ruth says he needs to carry three different types of Pepto Bismol at all times just to make it through the day. 

"I used to be able to eat anything, no problem," Ruth said. "I could chase a pizza with two plates of hot wings at 1 a.m. and sleep like a baby. These days, if I eat so much as a cracker past nine I'm up half the night with indigestion." 

Ruth says he can't make it through a single day without popping at least one dose of the antacid. "I carry three different types on me at all times: chewables, pills, and the liquid stuff," he noted. "They're all organized in my fanny-pack here." 

Though he misses the carefree lifestyle of his younger days, he said he's accepted his fate as just another consequence of getting older. He said he's also grateful his ailment has allowed him to help many others over the years. 

"I'm very popular with the over-40 crowd at parties. I usually hang out by the bathroom and tell people I've got what they need to have a good time," he said. "I always tell them the first one is free, but your second trip to the bathroom is going to cost you. I'm not running a charity here."


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