MOUNT SINAI — Hot off the success of Genesis and Exodus, Moses expressed confidence that everyone would love his follow-up work, Leviticus.
The leader of the Israelites seemed sure that the warm reception his first two books had received made it a safe bet that the next installment of the series would be a smash hit.
"Oh man, people are going to love reading this one," Moses said as he wrote a passage about how the priest was to go about diagnosing mold. "It's my first foray into a more technical, procedural genre. There hasn't been anything like it."
Moses did admit that he had been writing under the guidance of the Lord and therefore couldn't take all the credit for Leviticus. "He uses my natural talent in writing, but the story ideas are all His," Moses explained. "But that doesn't make Leviticus any less riveting."
An advance excerpt of the book failed to spark excitement for its upcoming release. Dathan, a Benjamite, said, "It's just a bunch of regulations — basically a rule book. Maybe the Levites will really like it?" However, a local Levite named Seth was not impressed. "This ain't it, chief," he said. "It's like reading an instruction manual."
Moses' brother, Aaron, who spoke before Pharaoh, was reportedly less than enthused by the new work. "The part where me and my sons are ordained is cool," Aaron said of the book. "But the part where they die after offering strange fire was much less to my liking."
Moses has shrugged off early criticism of the book. "Maybe releasing a preview was a bad idea. You really have to see how it all comes together — and then — BAM — Leviticus, you know? It's going to be huge."
At publishing time, while Leviticus turned out to be a disappointment among the Israelites, Moses said he was not deterred from his next great idea to write a book detailing the numerical populations of each Israelite tribe.
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