AMES, IA — A local man experienced a brief moment of consternation today as he came to the realization that he must have heard a Dave Matthews Band song sometime in his life but couldn't place where or why.
Dale Roberts paused during his routine morning tasks with the sudden acknowledgment that he had, in all likelihood, heard one of the songs by the Dave Matthews Band at some point, though he had no recollection of what on earth it was or how on earth he heard it.
"Yes. Yes, I know it had to have happened. No idea how, though," Roberts said. "They were a pretty big mainstream act back in the day. I must have heard one of their songs during my life. When did it happen? Where was I? Anyone's guess is as good as mine. Weird, right?"
Dave Matthews Band, known for several unknown songs, was a popular musical group among an unidentifiable group of people during an indeterminate time period. A recent study showed a majority of adults between the ages of 35 and 55 admitted to having heard at least one of the band's songs but did not know how, where, or why.
"It's a mystery to me," Roberts continued. "I vaguely recall a distinct musical sound with a violin and random bursts of saxophone, with a guy singing whose voice sounded like a broken French horn, but… yeah. That's all I can't think of."
At publishing time, Roberts had resolved to seek counseling to get to the bottom of this missing period in his memory.
DOGE is here, and Elon and Vivek will eliminate millions of government positions