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Christian Living Church Ministries
Man Identifies As 20 Years Younger In Order To Land Youth Pastor Job

PORTLAND, OR—Greg Sterling, 47, sued the government earlier this week to get his age changed 20 years younger than he actually is in order to land a job as a youth pastor at a local church.

Sterling petitioned to have his age changed to 27 so he could be cool, hip, and blend in with the youth at Combustion Youth Group.

"I know physically I look old, but I personally identify as a lit, dope 20-something and not an old man," he told reporters. "Old people are so lame, am I right, fam? I'm hip!"

In order to live out his chosen identity as a young, cool, relatable youth pastor, Sterling wears trucker hats, sunglasses, and even a wallet chain. He listens to "contemporary" music like Carman, T-Bone, and Project 86. He uses current terminology like "dope," "phat," and "tight," cementing his status as a perpetually young guy the kids can "just chill" with.

Based on his newfound identity, Sterling was granted the youth pastor position. In a statement, he confirmed he was "so totally stoked" for the role.