PENSACOLA, FL — According to sources, a local man was left in a state of confusion after coming to another tab on his internet browser and completely forgetting what he came there for.
Ted Landon reported falling victim to a sudden onset of memory loss immediately after opening a new web browser tab and remained sitting at his desk, staring at his computer screen in silent bewilderment.
"Wait… what was I doing again?" Landon remembered muttering to himself as he gawked at the blank browser window. "I know I needed to look for something. What was it? It wasn't about the weather. I'm fairly certain I wasn't going to Google how old Cillian Murphy is. A YouTube video of a "Macho Man" Randy Savage interview from 1989, maybe? Or was I going to read the Wikipedia page about the origins of peanut butter? C'mon, Ted… think. Man, this is frustrating."
Landon admitted that this had become more common with age. "It happens more often than I'd like to admit," he said. "I'll be doing some work, go to open a new browser tab, and… poof! No clue what I was going to do. Last week, it took me 45 minutes to remember I was originally intending to look up George Brett's career total for extra-base hits. Getting old is tough, I tell ya."
At publishing time, Landon's wife, Sharon, said remembering the reason for opening a tab was no problem for her since she had kept open all 147,583 browser tabs she had ever opened in her life and had no intention of ever closing them.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
