PARIS — Following Sunday's theft of artifacts valued at $102 million, the Louvre updated its security system to include a second generation indoor Ring camera.
"It automatically records when it detects motion and I can access all the footage from the app. It's a huge step forward for our security," said Louvre President-Director Gerard des Carre. "It's so cool."
At the time of the theft, the Louvre had relied on an old lock from the 1700s and a French bulldog named Terry for security. Sadly, it didn't have a Ring camera, which experts believe would have prevented the theft of jewelry previously worn by French queens and Empress Marie-Louise, second wife to Napoleon I.
"This is a major upgrade," said Security Chief Ranaud Lafont. "And it's got a little speaker so I can yell at thieves who try to rob us. This is the most advanced security system in the world."
"Get out of here thieves! That's the Mona Lisa, you idiots!" the chief shouted, pretending to scare away would-be art thieves.
At publishing time, after a brief test run, the Louvre had also agreed to hire real security guards, though it insisted they only be armed with stale baguettes.
Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!
